Thursday, August 7, 2014

How my girl on the run saved my life

As I ran with my dog this morning ... wait!  What?  I really can't believe that I am writing those words (and, that I actually did run with my dog this morning!).  A year ago I could barely walk to pick my kids up from school without getting winded, and a few short weeks ago I was not a dog owner (but that is another story).

Like many women, I have struggled with my weight for years, always trying the newest "get thin quick" diet scheme without success.  Last fall my 9 year old daughter, Olivia,  signed up for her elementary school's Girls on the Run program -- a running program designed to empower young girls which culminated in a 5K race 2 weeks before Christmas.  From the first practice, Olivia loved the program -- something that surprised me because she is more glitter and glam than sneakers and sweats!  She was always animated when I picked her up from her bi-weekly practices full of information about the exercises and games they played.  A few weeks into the program Olivia brought home an information sheet stating that every girl had to have a running buddy for the 5K.  My partner called, "not it" quicker than me, so I signed up with my only goal being to not embarrass Olivia.

I was a memeber of the YMCA, so I downloaded a Couch-5K app on my iphone and headed to the indoor track.  The first day was a combination of running for 60 seconds and walking for 90 seconds.  I literally could not run for 60 seconds without my lungs burning and my legs buckling.  The 90 seconds of walking were not nearly enough for me to recover before "running" again ... I was sure that I would not ever, ever, ever get to the point where I could run 3, 5, 10 minutes in a row, let alone an entire 5K, but I kept at it.  Slowly but surely I began to add more minutes to my running time hating every minute.  A turning point for me was when Olivia came to train with me, and her words of encouragement were so heartfelt and powerful that she made me believe them.  I know that she was spouting out phrases that she heard at her Girls on the Run practices:  "You can do this"  "It doesn't matter how fast you are going, just keep going", "Never give up" ...  for the first time not only did I think I could do it, but I wanted to do it.  As the weeks went by, Olivia's self-esteem grew along with her running ability.  She learned about peer pressure, and anti-bullying.  Her coaches taught her to set a goal and to stay positive, and she coached me to do the same -- she was part inspiration and part Jillian Michaels!!!

I was only about 5 weeks into the 8 week Couch-5K program when the day of the race approached, and the race was outside (I trained exclusively indoors), with hills (uh ... I was only used to a FLAT track), and it was 30 degrees and snowing the morning of the run (yeah, no snow at the indoor Y), but I was still confident, well ... sort of!
just in case!
I was filled with excitement and anticipation as we pinned on our racing bibs and headed to the starting line, thrilled to simply be a part of something so unimaginable months before.

When we crossed the finish line I was never more proud of either of us.  I was amazed at what we had accomplished, and I was thrilled that I was done running -- the race was over,  no more laps around the track!!

so very proud of my girl
so very proud of both of us!
Then Olivia brought home a permission slip for the spring Girls on the Run session, and said, "Mommy pleeeeeeease can I do it again?"  What kind of mother would I be to deny her a truly life-changing experience:  the chance to meet new friends, to improve her self-esteem, to feel good about herself - to strengthen her body and her soul?  So, we signed up again, and this time I started my Couch-5K program immediately, I ran outside, I even practiced on some (little) hills, I began paying attention to my time, and I bought running sneakers!  As the weeks went by, I found myself rearranging my days to make sure that I had time to run.  I was slowly becoming a runner without my even being aware of it! What had begun as a way to spend time with my daughter had morphed into a full-blown fitness makeover, and no one was more surprised than me.

I had two goals for my next race:  beat my last time, and no walking.  Like the last time, I fully planned to stop running as soon as the race was over.  I'd still go to the Y to workout, but NO MORE RUNNING because I hate it, right?

The 5K was phenomenally powerful since it was a Girls on the Run exclusive event -- it was amazing and inspiring to see so many beautiful young girls full of confidence and joy ...
ready to run the 5K with all the grace and abandonment that childhood afforded them.  They put on their silly socks, laced up their sneakers and donned their tutus to take on the world -- I was simply along for the ride!
 I felt much more confident for this run
and I was full of anticipation for it to begin.

Crossing the finish line was exhilarating for both of us -- we beat our previous time by more than 8 minutes, and now I was finally done with running!

a well-deserved medal
goofing around
Olivia full of pride at her accomplishment!
The week after the 5K was over, I signed Olivia and I up for the ColorVibe run on Labor Day weekend because crossing finish lines is addictive, because running is good for the soul, because I can't deny the positive changes that running elicits, and, most importantly, because a little girl told me I can do it!



Friday, March 14, 2014

The Happiest Place On Earth ...

Six months ago we visited Disneyworld, arguably the happiest place on earth,
just weeks after Joy's job was eliminated. The trip had long been paid for, and, in fact, we would have lost money by canceling so close to our departure, so we went to the happiest place on earth at perhaps the saddest time in our lives.  


 Luckily, it was hard to stay sad in the Magic Kingdom, where everything truly is magical.









Our frowns
soon turned upside down!












I can get a lump in my throat when Charlie walks on to a basketball court, so watching his face when he got to meet his favorite characters, Mickey and Minnie Mouse, was a full-blown three tissue affair.


Of course there were plenty of other exciting character meetings during the week:
Jesse getting a little fresh with Ethan!

Hey Chip ... look what I found!!


















and then there were the princesses, don't forget the princesses --







Oh, I have found my Prince Charming!




Every day of our vacation was filled with moments of a lifetime.  For most of the vacation we didn't even think about being unemployed, we simply threw caution to the wind and lived in the moment.
Joy even received a phone call for an interview while we were standing in line to ride the teacups, so our spirits were high assuming that she would be re-employed soon after we got home.
We spent a glorious week traveling the "world",
nǐ hǎo

konnichiwa


Hei

Guten Tag

ciao

ssalamū 'lekum


Good Day!

Bonjour


eating like royalty,











 
and simply enjoying being together as a family!







Instead of drowning in our despair, we were singing in the rain!



Unfortunately, the interview scheduled at Disney did not result in a job offer when we got home, so we set about living our lives and reaping in the benefits of Joy being home all day:  no more before and after school stress dealing with the kids by myself ... I had help!


No more juggling Girl Scout meetings, parent-teacher conferences, orthodontist visits, doctor appointments, soccer, basketball & softball practices ... I had help!
No more doing the laundry on my own, I ... well, not so much on this one, but still ... we blasted off into a new world.

Because of our non-existent salary, we qualified for a scholarship at the YMCA, so going to the gym became part of our daily routine -- something that we never would have been able to do while Joy was working full-time.  And, as time went on, we developed a new normal that was, dare I say it, enjoyable. The kids were happy,






and we were happy -- realizing every day that we were already richer than what any salary could provide!
Much as Olivia and Charlie transformed themselves at Disneyworld, our lives were changing right before our eyes.









Maybe the happiest place on earth is spending quality time with your partner (partner in life, partner in crime, partner in ...)!

We joined a neighborhood Bible study that truly impacted our lives.  We joked at the first meeting in the fall that Joy didn't need to buy the book because she would soon have a job and would not be attending any more meetings, but those weekly gatherings uplifted our hearts and souls in a way that I am still struggling to comprehend. It was always so very powerful to hear our names lifted in prayer, and to feel surrounded in love. So much of our lives are lived superficially. Joy's unemployment actually gave us the opportunity to strengthen friendships, and to connect on a much deeper level with our neighbors and each other. It was an explosion of love!
I have been so humbled by the generosity of so many friends and neighbors who provided emotional and financial support, without which the past 6 months of our life would have been much scarier. It seemed that every time we were hitting a low point, there would be a knock at our door from a neighbor bearing milk and cheese. Or the doorbell would ring and instead of a person at the door, we would find a gift card for gas or groceries.  The generosity of our friends, and neighbors, our kids' schools, our church and even total strangers was truly overwhelming. We received so much from so many people.  If there was ever a doubt about the real meaning of Christmas, the "village" that surrounded our family with love this year erased it all.  We were truly love-bombed, and still do not feel worthy of the outpouring of generosity bestowed on our family!
Before journeying on this path, I never understood that there was a certain dignity in receiving and accepting help.  It was a constant struggle to resist the urge to say, "no, thank you" and, instead, simply say, thank you".  Perhaps the happiest place on earth is knowing you are loved in moments of deepest despair.
Mercy Me singing "I can only imagine" at Disney's Night of Joy
Much like Ethan photo bombing our pictures, unemployment took up residence where it was uninvited,



but even with all the "downs" that unemployment brought,
there were still more "ups"!


Life always makes you wonder what you would have done differently if "I knew then what I know now".  I am thankful that we had no idea when Joy was RIF'd ("Reduction In Force'd" -- a cool new term that I recently learned) that she would be out of work for over 6 months.  We learned how to live in the moment, not letting ourselves dwell on the unimaginable until we had already fought our way through it.
Looking back, I am still not sure how we did it, but we did do it -- and we did it gracefully at that, dancing and singing along the way and keeping our lives as normal as possible for the kids!

Through the grace of God, the generosity of many, and the refusal to let our employment status define us, or diminish us, we persevered.  We were given the rare opportunity to reevaluate what we thought was important, and to realize that we already had all we needed: our children,
 and our castle!
There have been many, many low points along the way:  the obvious ones, of course, like the constant worry about paying bills and feeding the kids, the loss of self-worth, the embarrassment of applying for the free-lunch program or standing in line to collect our bag of USDA food, the ridiculousness of being told that, because of our unemployment compensation, we had "too much" to qualify for medical assistance but "not enough" to qualify for the affordable care government subsidies, thereby rendering us uninsured for too many sleepless months (in fact, we are still counting down the "please God, don't let me get sick" days until we are able to be covered under Joy's new job), and the less obvious ones, the moments that made us feel "less than", or ashamed as if we had done something wrong.  Many days were messy.
There were countless obstacles in our way.
The waters were troubled.

At times we thought that we may be eaten alive,
and other times we were mad as a hatter.
There were a lot of unexpected surprises along the way.

We certainly felt imprisoned.


But, even with all the stress of being uninsured (I do have the tiniest bit of  "hypochondriacism" -- every stomach twinge is appendicitis, every cough is lung cancer, and every headache obviously means a brain tumor ...), and the uncertainty of how our bills were going to get paid, we both trusted that God had a plan for our family and knew that we had to be open to letting Him show us the path that we were meant to follow.

that's Charlie driving the car in front of me!!
It was exhausting.


Any of you that know me personally, know that I am anything but patient, so these past months have been a true test!  I always believed in my heart that God would provide, but that did not make it any easier to live through the daily uncertainty.  At the beginning of this journey I kept looking for the lesson in all of this.  I know that we are not, by any means, at the end of our path, but I think that the "lesson" or meaning I've gained from these last months is quite simple:  appreciate what you have, no matter what you have.  It is enough.  Stand up and salute your life!
Live life like the VIP that you are!

Olivia lounging in the VIP lounge
So, is the "Happiest Place on Earth" Disneyworld?  For sure ... but it is also in the midst of friends, in the middle of a rainstorm, in the quiet moments, in the comfort of your partner's arms, in the laughter of your children and in the palm of God's hand.  Those are the places we live a blessed life, in fact, our life is picture perfect with or without a job!